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I love Spam. Its not an ironic, fetishistic infatuation. Its a true appreciation for the meat; its resourceful flavor, and its indestructible enclosure. Its not because I’m asian, and I loves things that come with right angles, encased in steel. Its not the novelty of canned luncheon meats or the cult status that it somehow achieved. And I’m just tired of defending Spam to people that will never let themselves experience the wonder meat.

What bothers me is that so many people are fine with hot dogs, probably the most processed meat product ever created. Hot dogs are made with the real scraps, blended in a vat the size of a grain silo, encased in synthetic wrapping, then painted orange. Spam has always gotten the short end of the culinary stick. What people don’t realize that Spam is a simple blend of ham, pork shoulder and pepper. There’s no ears or anus, that goes to the hot dog plant. Spam does not stand for “snouts, penis, and misc…”, its a simply abbreviation for “spiced ham”.

I know I’m being defensive unprovoked, but I just wanted to tell you about my friend, that happens to have a bad reputation. If you’d like to read more in defense of SPAM, read this hillarious essay, and look for Paul Theroux’s theory of the pacific islanders fascination with said meat. And if you get curious, try some of these recipes. If you don’t trust me, trust the experts.

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